**Rebuild your love life - Work on yourself first.
The relationship will follow. Two broken people cannot fix each other. Do
something loving for yourself today, and then come back and do something loving
for your partner.
**Be honest with yourself - Only you can do the work
that you alone need. Learning to love yourself first teaches you how to
love others. Learn to love you. Only then will you have the kind of love your
partner needs. Only then.
**Begin all over again - Begin with a fresh start. Remember when you first met and everything
was great? Each of you seemed to know what to do. The relationship was
everything you wanted, right? Become
re-acquainted. Get to know each other all over again. Begin by wooing each other
like you did back then. Think a minute on those special moments. Think about those moments again.
**Resolve now to recreate those good times. You
can begin your fresh start in your love life any moment you choose. Forgive
yourself for your mistakes. It's time to move forward and without regrets.
**Establish a love life enhancement goal - What is
your relationship goal? What is most important to you and to your partner?
Spend quality time together talking about what is important to both of you. Set
some love life goals. Write them all down on paper. Setting goals will allow
you both to control the direction of change you wish for. To follow a new path
without knowing where it leads is like walking into a maze.
**Develop a love life sense of humor - Laugh about
anything or nothing at all for 1 minute of each day. Show your loved one
your lighter side. Smile and then smile
again. It's very catching. Cultivate the positive by only looking at the bright
side of things for a change.
**Claim your bliss - Be happy now! It's your
choice. Live and love to your absolute fullest and watch as the sparks start to
fly.
**Cultivate togetherness - Plan to spend time together.
The key now is to "plan."
Stand by what you plan. Keep your commitments to be only with your partner.
Work on this together and you will accomplish much more.
**Cultivate calm - Don’t let disagreements spoil your
love life. Freely offer words such as, "I'm sorry," when needed
and then put it behind you. Don't waste valuable time nursing a quarrel.
Someone has to be first to back down -- might as well be you. Your love life
will not thrive in an atmosphere of discord.
**Don't allow negative behavior to rule your love life
- When the relationship is strained, it can sink very quickly. Sometimes
you don't do what your partner wants you to do, so he/she becomes upset and even
distant. Agree to allow each other to make your own choices. Remember, women
will respond quickest to a man's action or lack of action. Men will respond
quickest to a woman's attitude.
**Take good care of yourself. When you feel
tension present in your love life it is easy to reach for inappropriate food,
alcohol or drugs. This is a big mistake. Resolve to pamper yourself. A healthy
mind and body will translate into a healthy love life.
**Sleep until rested. You can’t make up for lost
sleep. When you are well rested you are loving yourself and then you have more
to offer your loved one.
**Give genuine gifts! - Take the time to pay
sincere gifts of love. Offer genuine compliments often. Offer generous praise
for your partner. The road to prosperity in your love life will be paved with a
commitment to generosity towards your partner.
**Feel close to your partner. We feel closest to those who cause us to feel
good about ourselves. Lavish expressions of love on your partner. Bring them straight from the heart.
**Show appreciation. Nurture your love life with
warmth and goodwill. This inspires your
partner to want to please you. Appreciation is among the top ten needs for most
people.
**Exercise better choices - This is a great gift.
It requires that you do not repeat the bad choices you have made in your love
life that have brought you to this point in time. You will get what you focus
on. Look for and see the goodness in your partner. This will spur you on to even better choices.
**Show affection! - There is great healing in your
power of touch. Hold hands. Kiss in your car. Give your partner a massage.
Spend time holding and caressing. Give your partner an extended hug every day;
one that lasts several minutes. Purpose to touch each other every day.
**Celebrate your love life! - Plan for special
days in romantic ways. Make a note of very special days. The ones that belong just to the two of you;
your first date, when you first made love, when you moved into your home, the
day you got married, the day of the proposal. Plan something really special.
**Fun, fun, fun! - Kick your heels up and play
like a kid again. Tell your partner you want to enjoy what he or she enjoys and
then spend the entire day together. Make a commitment to do this regularly.
**Dress up and go out on the town. - Go on a date and
dress to the nines! Make it a special night; even rent a tuxedo or buy a
new dress. Make advance reservations for a classy restaurant. Delight in all
the planning.
**Expect the unexpected. Be spontaneous and
suggest something completely out of character. Send an intimate greeting card
for no reason. Suddenly stop beside a country road, breath in the fresh air and
say, "I love you!" and then be on your way. If your partner loves
sports on TV, sit alongside and watch the game, too. Let your imagination have
free reign.
**Who said life had to be so serious? There will
be faux pas and rock and roll! So what?
Better to just roll with the punches. Poke fun at yourself, it is very
refreshing, but, not at your partner. That's their own job. Smile all the time.
**Take on “the art of communicating.” An entire
book could be written on this subject!
Your communication is the most important aspect of your love life. Without it, you are only half a person. We communicate in all kinds of ways,
including verbal and non-verbal.
Just be very open
to your partner and listen. Listening is
the key to communicating. When you are communicating well you feel
connected. When you feel disconnected
you become distant. Your love life
cannot survive being distant.
**Watch what you say. Choose the words you speak
with great care. Words hastily offered are not easily retrieved. They become your reality. Your love life
lives on the tip of your tongue.
**Make an effort each day to tell your partner how
much they mean to you and how much they are appreciated. Talk with
tenderness. Use terms of endearment, such as "Honey,"
"Sweetie," "Baby," etc. and be polite, saying "thank
you." Whisper even the simplest of words that reflect your love and your
relationship will grow.
**Nurture your love life with words of affection,
understanding, acceptance and forgiveness. Nurture is to nourish, educate, grow or develop; cultivate.
**Cultivate a healthy love life. Healthy couples can identify problems with
confidence. They can talk openly and
honestly about their differences and come to workable solutions. Work on this
actively, or the relationship will evaporate.
**Trusting and Being Trusted. Be a straight shooter. Trust is the great equalizer in a good
relationship; without it there is no good!
A good foundation in a healthy love relationship is built on trust and
trust must be earned.
Holding back on the truth about how you feel, only
telling part of the story, fudging on what your wants and needs are to your
partner slowly erodes the trust in your relationship. Total honesty brings
about awesome trust. Do all that you can
to achieve it!
**Go the extra mile.
Motivate each other to be the best you can be. Be inventive in
coming up with ways to inspire your love life. Never stop. NEVER! Push the
romance envelope with a getaway in the mountains for a long weekend. Splurge
and go all out! Use your imagination.
**Agree to Agree.
It is important to understand that relationships seldom feel easy;
however, a relationship is less of a struggle when two people agree to do
whatever it takes to make it workable. This does not mean "giving it your
best shot and if it doesn't work, you move on." This means doing whatever
it takes!
**Memories last a lifetime - So can your love life.
Create a love scrapbook. Stash your memories of special greeting cards,
matchbook covers that remind you of great visits, snapshots, a pressed flower,
ticket stubs, a handwritten love poem, a funny, thoughtful valentine.
Celebrate spending time together living out a life’s
dream. If you have always wanted to see
Whitney Houston in concert, go! Save the
concert tickets and program and frame them as a life long memory the two of you
have shared.
**Spread a little sunshine. Give each other permission to their own
space. Nothing grows well in the
shade! If you are forever in your loved
one’s pocket, you can stifle the love so freely given. Even love partners need
time alone. You need space. This is another way to love yourself, first.
**Call the love doctor. A lack in your love life is nearly always a
symptom of something that needs fixing in the relationship. Work on being more attentive, thoughtful and
creative in expression of your love and your love life with come alive again.
**Go on a date with your partner. Even relationships that are old-hat need new
juice! Once every week plan to spend some quality date time together.
Enlist a trusted friend to stay the night with your kids and head for the “ten
buck a night motel.” Relive those olden
days when you really lit the fire.
**Practice volume control when talking. A quiet loving voice is respectful and will
get you more of what you want, more often.
**Push your partner’s hot buttons - Push them
spontaneously. I'm not talking about the ones you shouldn’t push. Push the
turn-on buttons. Know what delights and pleases your partner and push those
buttons often.
Pay special attention to do this. Often a warm and tender
hug, a kiss on the back of the neck or an unexpected massage is all it takes to
get those home fires burning again.
~~Remember that your love life is something that needs to
be worked on all the time and not only when it is broken and needs to be fixed.
**Practice Prevention - Don't allow your relationship
to slide into oblivion. Look at your love life as an active, breathing
thing. Life needs to be refueled and
taken care of. Look at the many ways you
can actively prevent your love life from sizzling out.
**Learn to love more, smarter. You can acquire a healthier and stronger love
life when you are learning more about what makes them so. Visit quality relationship sites on the
Internet. Develop a desire to read. Join a book club and read together. Subscribe
to relationship ezines. Attend relationship seminars. Get love life coaching.
You can never be too smart about loving relationships.
**Priorities, priorities. Abandon the idea once and for all that your
life is your work. Don’t confuse your career
with your life. The same is true of your relationship! Relationship must always
come first, then your career.
Put even a few of these love life enhancers into practice
and a more healthy love relationship will be your reward.
